In 1985 on December 23rd, which is traditionally Tom Bowcock’s Eve here in Cornwall on which starry gazey pie with fish heads sticking out is served, I walked out of the pavilion after an excellent curry for lunch at The Roshanara Ground in Delhi, a former test ground. I was opening the innings with my fellow Braywood CC colleague Stuart West. A fish out of water was certainly an appropriate analogy as this was surely one of the the biggest mis-matches in cricketing history. Indian Airlines CC was a company team who nurtured future Indian test stars by giving them ‘jobs’ which entailed playing cricket mostly and preparing them for future test careers. Some players may have already reached that status but still turned out for their employer’s team especially when it was a match against a touring team from England. For some reason I was thought to be a candidate for opening the batting mainly as I had built a reputation for being able to stay in for longer than some of my colleagues in Braywood CC 2nd XI which was not hard to achieve at that time.
This touring team from England was quite different from the vast majority that had toured that sub continent previously as we were not professional cricketers but a group of amateur cricketers of varying ability brought together playing for a team that originated as the Dwileflonkers* CC. That wandering team was originally conceived in a pub in Kent and and after formation pootled around the leafier bits of London playing anyone that would have them. Wandsworth Occasionals, as they later became, joined the Club Cricket Conference, that great South East organisation, where clubs could get fixtures when they had any blank dates in their diary. In order to get home fixtures Wandsworth Occasionals moved to a pitch on Barnes Common which they described as the one of the prettiest pitches in London, if not the best playing surface. They are now known as Barnes Common CC more in keeping with their location.
The Indian Airlines opening bowlers were going through their warming up exercises as we made our way out to the crease and Stuart manfully agreed to face the first over. Fast bowling was becoming popular in India now with Kapil Dev being their new role model so we couldn’t expect a few overs of gentle medium before the spinners came on. Needless to say in due deference to Stuart’s batting, which was far better than mine as he was a number 3 or 4 in our 1st XI, I had a different batting partner when I got to face the first ball of the next over. Having watched the first over from the safety of the other end the sight of the ball arcing through the air at great pace and also seaming once it had pitched did not fill me with great confidence as it had already accounted for a batsman of much greater ability than me. The other opening bowler wandered back to his mark and began his run up after I had gone through the rather unnecessary rituals of taking guard and looking round the field. I heard the first ball fizzing past before I actually saw it arc away from my outstretched bat which was nowhere near it so I’d survived the first ball. The bowler immediately realised that that sort of delivery was no good for dislodging me as I wouldn’t get anywhere near it. The next ball thudded into my pad at shin height and I actually felt pain through the pad such as the momentum of the delivery. I expected the umpire to send me back to the pavilion where at least I could enjoy some more of the exellent lunch that had been served. I survived that delivery however as the umpire probably thought I wouldn’t last long any way and took pity on me. Another ball flew past the edge as the bowler got his line slightly wrong by pitching on a good length and then flying off to the right before being grabbed by the ‘keeper. I finally made contact with the 4th delivery of the over with a thickish outside edge that flew wide of third slip area at considerable pace. I had got off the mark with what would surely be a boundary with no third man indeed anyone in a defensive fielding position at that juncture. My joy was very short lived as 3rd slip dived full length a pulled off a miraculous stop and I remained on nought. Amazingly I survived that over and the relative safety of the non-strikers end which Geoff Boycott would always say was the best place to play fast bowling from. My colleague at the other end now prepared to face the music and he was a fellow guest on the tour and had previously played for Middlesex 2nd XI. Although that had been quite a while before he still had enough ability to face top quality bowling and to my dismay pushed one past the close in field and called me for the run. I answered the call and unfortunately a fielder had reached the ball by then so there was no chance of a second as the ball whistled in over the bails to the ‘keeper. I then had the opportunity to face the other opening bowler who was probably not too bothered about having a single taken off him the previous delivery. He bowled me a straight ball which I managed to actually middle with my defensive prod. It looped gently to a very short leg and I wandered off to enjoy some more of the curry relieved that at least no further physical pain had been inflicted on me.
When Indian Airlines realised that this wasn’t going to be much of a game having put us in they took off their quick bowlers and brought on their batsmen and even wicketkeeper to bowl which was more akin to what our players were used to facing and we made a total score in the low hundreds which was easily knocked off by their bowlers having a bat.
I would love to know what Indian players we faced that day and if any of them went onto greater things after facing the might of Wandsworth Occasionals on Tom Bowcock’s Eve in 1985.
*The English game of dwile flonking (also dwyle flunking) is an East Anglian pub sport, involving two teams of twelve players, each taking a turn to dance around the other while attempting to avoid a beer-soaked dwile (cloth) thrown by the non-dancing team.
Fifty Five Years of Cricket Memories 